Umbridge and Filch: A Strange Romance
by Lupinfangirl
Summary: Filch and Umbridge: a strange yet perfect match. By Dobby.
1. Chapter One The Great Beginning

Umbridge and Filch: A Strange Romance, by Dobby 

Before you look at the title, and have your eyes pop out of your head from this pairing, they are actually a good couple. Why? See my bio for details. Also, this is my first, and I'm pretty sure my last romance story; it's just not my type. Also, you're wondering who Dobby is. My sister and I share an account, I am nicknamed Dobby, my sister is Lupy.

Chapter One- The Great Beginning

"Argus! Come here!" called the Hogwarts headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

Argus Filch, the caretaker, came storming into the room.

"Headmaster, everybody keeps making trouble! Those Weasley twins are at it again!" he exclaimed," And Peeves couldn't be worse! Do you know what they're doing? They're-"

But Filch couldn't utter another word. Next to Dumbledore was a beautiful lady. She was short, with a face like a princess and she was wearing a lovely pink cardigan and a matching pink bow on her head. She was perfect for Filch! Before Filch could make a bigger fool out of himself, Dumbledore introduced them.

"Argus, I see you've noticed Dolores", he said.

"Dolores Umbridge", the lady said in a flirty, yet squeaky, voice. Filch practically melted on the spot.

Dumbledore could see that Umbridge wasn't paying any attention to him; she was lost in her own world with Filch. And Umbridge still looked uncomfortable because Dumbledore was sure that she hated him. So Dumbledore left.

"I'll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts", Umbridge said to Filch. She giggled. "And what do you do?"

"Oh, I am the caretaker of Hogwarts. I keep Hogwarts in great shape. Without me, the school would be a mess," Filch said, trying to make it sound as though his job was the most important thing in the world.

"Well, _I _am from the Ministry of Magic. I make sure that Hogwarts is a good school and that it stays that way. But, Argus, with you around, I'm sure there won't be any problems". Umbridge winked at Filch, trying to look cute (A/N: And not succeeding. But Filch thought otherwise.) "Now, what was it you said about trouble at this school?"

"Oh, nothing, no trouble at all. I can handle everything just fine," Filch desperately assured her, blushing.

"Oh, no, Argus. All I want is to help".

"All right, then", Filch said, laughing in a way as manly as possible. He told Umbridge about Peeves, Fred and George, and how he wanted the old punishments back.

"You know, our punishments used to be so much better. They used to actually hang you by your wrists from the ceiling for a few days. I still keep the chains", Filch was saying.

"Oh, the good old days", Filch and Umbridge said at the same time. They laughed.

"Argus! You had all the fun back then, didn't you?" Umbridge asked, her voice jealous in a sweet way.

"Oh, yeah, I was having a blast! Now, we just take House points off and give detention," Filch sighed.

"Well, it was quite a journey to Hogwarts. I'm _very_ tired right now; I'd better get to sleep", Umbridge said.

Filch nodded sympathetically as Umbridge left the room.

Reviews are my middle name! lol jk but please review!!!


	2. Chapter Two The Dream

Chapter Two- The Dream 

As Umbridge was getting dressed the next morning, she was still thinking about Filch. She had a dream about him. In the dream, Peeves was blocking her way into the DADA room and Umbridge didn't know what to do. She was hopelessly looking for a savior, when she saw Filch flying on a Firebolt outside the window.

" Stand back, Peeves!" Filch warned, but Peeves didn't budge.

Umbridge thought that Filch was looking his very cutest when he said," Take my hand, Dolores. "

Umbridge took Filch's hand and Filch pulled her onto the broomstick. Peeves watched, with a startled expression on his face, as they flew out of Hogwarts.

Filch and Umbridge talked and laughed for a long time.

" Where are you taking me, Argus?" Umbridge asked him.

" Does it matter, Dolores? All that matters is that we're in love!"

They flew and flew until they finally came to a stop. There was a huge castle with green grass and flowers around it, food on the grass, and everything the couple could dream of. On the castle there were engraved the words Dolores Argus .

Umbridge hugged Filch. " Is this really true? Or is this a dream?" she asked him.

" No, this is real life", he replied.

" How did you get all this?" she asked.

" I have no idea!" Filch admitted, " But who cares when you're in love?!"


	3. Chapter Three Admitting the Truth

Chapter Three- Admitting the Truth 

Umbridge loved her dream. But no matter what Filch said in the dream, it wasn't true. Umbridge sat at the foot of her bed, crying.

"It was all so good," she sighed. "But does that mean I like him? Yes, I like him. No, I love him!" she said to herself, laughing from happiness.

She left her room and there was Filch, downstairs, mopping the floor and singing, "Oh, I love Dolores, yes. Oh, I love Dolores, yes. Oh, I love Dolores, yes. OH, I LOVE DOLORES, YES!" to the tune of "Happy Birthday" at the top of his lungs.

"YOU DO?!" Umbridge asked in surprise.

Filch blushed and his face turned the color of a red-hot pepper, but he admitted he did.

"I do, too!" Umbridge shrieked.

Both of the lovebirds tried to say something, but they ended up stammering:

"I-I-I-I-…" Umbridge said.

"You-you-you-you…" Filch said.

"WE LOVE EACH OTHER!" they said at the same time.


	4. Chapter Four Happily Ever After

Chapter Four- The Dream Come True 

What happened next? Well, Umbridge and Filch went their own separate ways, Filch to his office and Umbridge to the DADA room. At least Umbridge thought that's where Filch went. Because then Peeves blocked Umbridge's way while she was getting to her class…well, you know the rest of the story.

THE END


End file.
